Death strikes again.

I have not blogged much. The last post I did was about a death in my family. My grandma dying was hard, but a month later we got more bad new. My cousin was stabbed to death. It was another hard it for my dads side of the family. But it just didn't end there, a month after that my grandpa died. The doctor said it was do to a broken heart from the death of his wife (my grandma) and the death of my cousin. So with in 4 months I lost 4 family members, all on my dads side of the family.


I thought that was the end of my family members dying, I was so wrong. I got new this week that my uncle passed. His wife died a few years ago of breast cancer. My uncle was really sick in in the hospital for a month. I really don't do death of family members to well. Who does? how do you deal with death of a loved one? Sometime I just shut down and act like it never happened. But then after awhile, the flood of sadness comes over me, and the tears start to flow. After a good cry I start to feel better and remember the good time I had with my family. I start to feel better, but the pain is still there.


Sometimes I start to worry, who's next? They say death happens in 3's. And it is true, I have been through it many times. Working in a nursing home you see it. When one person dies there is always 2 more to follow. Then I start to think, who's next? Is it my mom, brothers, husband or children. I won't know until it happens, I just have to put it in God'a hands. Yes, I would be crushed if I lost one of my children or my husband, but I have Faith in God. He has seen me through and I pray he continues to be there for me and my family. Everything happens for a reason, it could be bad but God can turn it around for the good.

Family Tragedy

I haven't been writing much lately, i can't even think straight at this point. In August I lost my grandmother to cancer. In September my cousin was stabbed to death. In November I lost my grandpa, the doctor's said he died of a broken heart. And in the last few days my dog has been very sick, she had internal bleeding. I am trying to stay positive with Christmas around the corner. I have had family members pass before, but never like this. But my hear is broken for my aunt, she lost her mom, dad and daughter all in 4 months. Now she has to raise her grandson.
   I will always have wonderful memories of my family. And I am very grateful that my children got to know their great grandparents. My children have wonderful memories of playing with their great grandpa and playing dolls with their great grandma. I try to talk t my dad and see how he is doing, but he is a person that does not like to talk about his feelings. He is a truck driver and being on the road is his escape. My family lives in Illinois and I an in North Carolina, and wasn't able to go to their funeral. I don't think I would have been able to handle 3 funerals in 4 months. At this point I just have to put everything in Gods hands, and know that he will take care of it all.

Mission Belt Review.

“Product was provided for this post as part of an opportunity with The Brand Connection. “

My husband has had hie belt for almost 20 years. I can not get that man to get rid if it and buy a new one. But of course, if a man likes something (more like love) they will keep it for ever. No matter old, dirty, stinky, and ripped it is. They will keep it and torture their wives with it. But I think I have found a belt he may like.

Mission Belt CO.

Mission Belt Co makes really cool belts with no holes. Yes you read that right, stylish and no holes. They have so many different colors that you may end up buying more. It's not just for men and boys, but they would look great on a women as well. No only do they make great belts, they also give back.
When you order a belt, a dollar from every belt sold goes to fight global hunger and poverty. I live a company that gives back. You can look good wearing your new belt, and feel good knowing you are helping fight poverty.











My husband has on an everyday outfit, but the belt makes it look better. I thing a great belt makes any outfit looks better. This belt is way better then my husbands old worn out belt. I think every one should different belts, and upgrade them every year.

My Little Big Man.

With my first 4 children, I kind of become a pro at teaching them to sit up, crawl, walk, dress and  
undress...etc. But when we had our 5th child that has dwarfism, we had to start all over. I tried to

 make things easy for him. I couldn't stand watching him struggle to try to sit up, crawl, walk and

 now trying to get dressed and undressed. He tries to get undressed and he cries out of

 frustration. But when I try to help him he say's "No mommy, I got it"  Breaks my heart and

 makes me proud at the same time. No matter how upset he gets, he never gives up. "Never

say can't, Never give up" My son has taught me that. When I thought he couldn't, he has shown

me he could.  my Little Big Man.

Losing a family member.

This is going to be a short post. My brain is not fully working right now.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   2 years ago I loss my aunt to breast cancer, 5 days a go I loss my grandmother to cancer. I I have some wonderful memories of my grandmother (I called her granny). She love to cook and back for everyone, and I loved being in the kitchen with her. I get my love of cooking from my 2 grannies, and I love them for that. But they both have passed away now and the cooking is left up to me.  

I really didn't know how to tell my children that their great grandma has passed. I didn't know how to tell them with, out me breaking down and crying like a baby. All I could say was "your great grandma was really sick and is in a better place". I am blessed that my children got to have wonderful memories of both their great grandma's. I was blessed to have 2 wonderful grannies, that taught me a lot about raising a family.

Dealing with Doctor's

Being a parent, you have to deal with doctor's. Being a parent to a child that has Dwarfism, you have to deal with many doctor's. My son Urijah just turned 3 the 17th of July and he was born with Dwarfism. It's a long story but I will keep it short.

Urijah had a rough start his first week of life. He wasn't breathing when he was born, and we almost lost him. But Thank God he pulled through and is a healthy happy 3 year old. We had to take him to many Doctor's and MANY appointments. Every Doctor said that he beat the odds and is a normal child, but just short.

He recently had some skin issues that pop up out of nowhere. We know that he had a reaction to bug bits. He had a mosquito bit on his arm that made his whole arm swell up. The skin on his arm started to open up and bleed a little. We took him to the Doctors and they didn't do a thing. So my husband and I decided that he could only go outside for a short amount of time, and had to have bug spray on. But recently something new started popping up on him.

 
Urijah started getting big red, sore, itchy red welts on his body. My husband and I thought it was bug bites, but he hasn't been outside in a week. So once again we took him to the Doctors, and they did nothing. I showed the picture to my friends on facebook. Two of my friends (both nurses) said it was hives. One of my friends has hives and my other friend, her son has hives. They both said that I should demand to be sent to an Allergist or Dermatologist. I told my husband, he jumped on the phone, yelled at the Doctor and got results. They recommended Urijah to an Allergist. As parents, should we really have to get to the point of yelling at Doctor's to get something done. We are the parents, we live with our children everyday, we know something is wrong when it comes to our children. Doctor's need to listen parent's, and take us seriously.

What I want to be when I grow up?

Yes it's true, sad but true. I am 34 years old and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. When I was younger, I wanted to be a wife and mother. I always wanted to have a husband, some one to love me and spend the rest of my life with. Well I've been, married for 11 years to my husband and best friend and have 5 wonderful children. But now that I have that, I want a career. Not just a "job" but a career in the field I want to be in. Not as easy as I thought and hoped it would be.
   In 11th grade I went to vocational school for 2 years for Food Management and Culinary Arts. As a child I have always loved to cook, but I loved baking even more. I wanted to be a Pastry Chef and have a little bakery. But at 17 I got pregnant with my first child. So becoming  a Chef had to be put on hold.
      I started in the home field when I was 19. I kind of had to, I had my first child and needed a good job. After a year, I really enjoyed working and helping the elderly. They had a lot to teach me and easy to get along with. I stayed in the for about 11 years, and after seeing close patients die I couldn't do it anymore. And I wanted to stay home with my children. I worked off and on and really enjoyed being home with my kids. I still love to cook and bake and would still love to have a Bakery. But I just don't have the confidants in myself to go back to school and try to open a Bakery. I am 2 years away from having all of my children in school and really need to decide what I want to do as my career.
   Does any other moms out there have the same problem or is it just me? How did you decide what you wanted to do?

                                                     
                                                  For now, being a wife and mom is my job.